What actually has to happen for the doctor’s collar to burst? He throws down the controller and simply storms out of the arena in front of a hundred thousand spectators? In 2018 there was such a legendary moment in Amsterdam. Here, ‘Dr. Erhano’ takes us on a journey back in time to the infamous FIFA Playoffs.
You’re playing FIFA. You concede ridiculous goals. Your opponent provokes. You have no chance to win anymore. The controller lands in the corner, anger sets in and you give up the game. A reaction that every ambitious FIFA player has probably experienced.
Amsterdam, June 2018. the FIFA 18 Global Series Playoffs are being played out. The best 64 players in the world are competing for 16 spots for the most prestigious tournament of the year, the FIFA eWorld Cup.
I, too, was in the mix to make my dream of playing in the World Cup come true. But what followed was unfortunately the biggest “scandal” I was involved in as an eSportsman.
Angry at the game, angry at the opponent
Fourth Swiss round. I’m 0-3, another loss and I’m out of the tournament. My opponent: ‘ilyamitkin’ from Canada. The match is streamed live in front of hundreds of thousands of spectators.
This weekend I played the worst tournament in my career. Hardly any creativity in attack. No compact defence. In the match against ‘ilyamitkin’ I was still the better player and that although I didn’t play a good FIFA in this match either.
First leg: 8:4 shots for me. Final result: 3:2 for my opponent. An undeserved result, but everything was still open for the second leg. Once again, I was superior, but missed a few chances, including a penalty. My opponent kept the tempo extremely low, switched sides. And in FIFA 18, it was very difficult to put anyone under pressure. He even managed to extend his lead to two goals with his first shot.
My focus and belief to win the game – evaporated. From the inside, I was seething. I was angry. Angry at the opponent and also angry at the game. At ‘ilyamitkin’ for playing “nasty” and at the game for not having luck on my side. And angry at myself because I realised that my preparation was not optimal. In the 85th minute I closed the game and left the stage. A real “ragequit” and on the biggest stage.
Already on the way out I knew that I had made a big mess and consequences would follow – I would have to bear them.
About an hour later, a security man in a neon yellow waistcoat handed me a piece of paper. Written by the “EA Competitive Manager” with the words that I would be disqualified from the tournament and would not receive the prize money of 1,000 US dollars for participating.
We knew each other because I had played competitively for years and was one of the best and most influential FIFA players in the world. I wanted to exchange ideas with him and apologise to him.
Mucked up, but no chance to talk to EA
I wanted to tell him my motives too, even though it wasn’t going to be a “justification” or “apology”. It was not professional, I know that, but I too am only human… A very emotional human being even, who lost control in this situation.
Unfortunately, I never got the conversation and the relationship with EA was cracked from that day on. I found that very unfortunate because I have done a lot for FIFA eSport.
Afterwards I informed my employer at that time, the VfB Stuttgart, that I would end my career as an eSports player at the end of the FIFA 18 season. However, the ragequit was not the only reason for this decision.
Fortunately, the eSports officials at VfB Stuttgart convinced me to continue. And it was worth it: In the following season, I was actually able to qualify for the FIFA eWorld Cup and realise my dream of the official FIFA World Cup after all.
FIFA is a game in which you fluctuate between highs and lows as an eSportsman. My example shows impressively that it’s worth fighting for your dreams, no matter what the situation is. However, I will never throw down the controller again like this.
